Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Treasure in the Attic

I have a recurring dream of rediscovering seldom visited rooms in my house. Down a hallway I turn a corner and move from light to a darkned suite of fully furnished, unused guest rooms. Down a path, I come upon an entire guest house that I apparently own but never visit. Within, I see evidence that other people have lived here, are living here now. They are aware of me, but I've been completely unaware of them.
Finally there is the attic above the garage with no visible entrance. I have to climb through windows, scale walls and cross a beam to get to the door that has no threshold. But I marvel that I do not come here more often. It is filled with treasures from my childhood and those of long-dead ancestors; lovely furniture, old toys laid out on tables like rummage sale goods.
The last time I was here I noticed a bird of prey chained to the wall. He'd been left a can of seed to sustain him. I was afraid to unchain him, fearful he would peck me and I would bleed.
This morning I recalled these dreams as I read Listening Prayer by Leanne Payne. In one chapter she comments on the disconnect Westerners experience between their heads and their hearts and how unaware we are of our souls. There is treasure that is ours for the taking, space we've been allotted we do not claim, people we do not engage with. God is there, but we are off in another part of the house keeping busy.
I'm amazed at my lack of understanding of my own heart. I often know what I think; less often what I really feel. Are the tenants in my guest house people to fear or people to engage with? Do I need to wake up and chase them out, begin to collect rent or provide or expect service? Should I unchain that bird and begin to sort through the treasure in the attic?
If my heart is Christ's home, is the fact that I am such an infrequent visitor to large parts of my estate significant? Lately in more lucid dreams I have turned on the light in the guest rooms and contemplated how to incorporate them into the rest of the house. I've talked to the caretaker of the guest house about how to deal with the squatters. I've yet to avail myself of the treasure in the attic and make a decision about that bird.

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