Shopping Blues

Our 87-year-old mother was quite the shopper in her day. It wasn’t very long ago that I wore out in the mall before she did. She lives in a small town in the Ozarks; a highlight of her yearly visits to us used to be the opportunity to refresh her wardrobe. No more.

In Arkansas, a lady dresses for church. She reluctantly adopted the polyester pant suit when dresses went out of style but she’s not descending down that slippery slope any further. Complicating the situation is the fact that she wears a size 6 petite and eschews dark colors.

Admittedly, we live in a shopping deprived region. We walked into the petite section of Kohl’s in Sonora and she announced, I’m looking for a pant suit or a dress. I literally threw my hands in the air and said, “you won’t find that anywhere is California.” Two days later, we took her to the mall in Pleasanton. By then, she had narrowed her hunt to ‘a dress.’ Unless you are going to a cocktail party or a prom, you will not find a dress in any store I know of.

Fellow shoppers, sensing my frustration, offered advice. “She wants a ‘frock,’ said a sympathetic Indian woman. Of course she does. Sales women trotted out smart two-piece suits, all is red and black and grey. Our mother shook her head. It must be a light color with long sleeves and a high (but not mock or turtle) neckline. That’s descriptive of the dresses our Mennonite neighbors wear, but that won’t work. It also has to be fashionable.

“I won’t cry,” she said as we left the mall empty handed. She won’t cry, but I might. An 87-year-old woman deserves to have something new, comfortable and attractive to wear to church. That’s how I felt when I used to leave the stores empty-handed after looking for something for my now deceased parents to wear after they moved into an assisted living community. I’m not alone. If you want sympathy, bemoan this situation in any clothing store and you will gather a crowd of equally frustrated adult children of parents who have aged out of the clothing industry.

I have two thoughts about this situation. First, the apparel industry is missing a big opportunity. We children would pay money to make our parents comfortable and happy. Second, I wonder if this is what is really behind the push for assisted suicide. Maybe the last straw isn’t a bad medical report but the dawning realization, “I haven’t got a thing to wear.”